Ah, the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. It's brought us a lot of memes, some excellent insults (pepperoni plumbers!), and an iconic theme song. But it also had a Christmas episode, which we're going to be looking at today.

The show always has two plots, one with live-action Mario and Luigi and one with cartoon Mario and Luigi. The live-action part of this episode is called "Little Marios". Weird title. Mario and Luigi are watching TV and some kid walks in behind them. Why do they leave their door unlocked? They're going to get robbed.

Apparently the Mario brothers know that kid, and his name is Brian. At first he tells them that he's going door to door selling stuff, but they get him to admit that he's running away from home. Why is this kid hanging out with two plumbers? I guess parents in the 80s just let their children do whatever. Mine wouldn't even let me cross the street on my own.

Brian tells Mario that he's running away because his parents don't love him anymore and he wants to teach them a lesson. Before Mario and Luigi can have a heart-to-heart talk with Brian, the show cuts to commercial and the cartoon starts! Yay!

They play the theme song twice in every episode. I bet it annoyed so many parents.

It opens on Bowser- I mean "King Koopa" in a Santa suit using a weird clown machine to break toys. He HATES Christmas and is out to ruin it for everyone!

He goes off in his sleigh to bomb Santa's workshop. I'm not joking about this, he even has a bunch of Bob-ombs at the ready.

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad arrive in the North Pole all surprised because they thought they were going to Hawaii. Turns out Toad led them there on purpose because he wanted to see Santa. He's obsessed with getting presents.

Peach surprises Toad with something he really wanted: a snowboard. He's so excited about it that it becomes all he cares about.

King Koopa sees the group and drops a bunch of Bob-ombs on them. Mario, Luigi, and Peach jump out of the way, but they hit Toad. He kind of deserves it, he's so whiny. When he emerges from the pile of snow the explosion made, the first thing he checks on is his snowboard, not his friends. They're clearly making Toad act like a materialistic little shit to deliver a moral at the end.

They realize that if King Koopa is at the North Pole, Santa is in danger! Of course, Toad only cares about saving the workshop and all the toys.

They're too late. Koopa Klaus has already frozen all the reindeer and elves and kidnapped Santa. Toad has a hissy fit because he'll never get a Christmas present ever again. Also, I think his snowboard looks different in this shot.

Mario makes Luigi put this massive ice cube on a seesaw and jump on the other side. Somehow, this launches the ice cube at Koopa's sleigh and knocks him down. But he still has Santa.

They throw snowballs at him (with Mario 2 sound effects) but they just land in his sack. Then he calls them spaghetti heads and drain-brains.

King Koopa is going to kill Santa! He threatens to drop him off a cliff so he gets impaled by the ice. Peach asks him if Christmas means anything to him, and in response he shouts "BAH HUM-KOOOOOOOOOP" so loud it causes an avalanche.

But don't worry, because Mario's going to save Santa with his plumber's snake!

They save Santa and Koopa ends up on an iceberg about to be eaten by Herbert P. Bear from Club Penguin. But Santa's workshop is still frozen so he can't deliver any gifts.

Santa's really upset, but in a shocking display of altruism Toad decides to give him his snowboard. Toad has been so annoying about this snowboard the entire episode, but I guess this gesture is enough to cause them to radiate Christmas spirit that melts all the ice.

Mario and friends have saved Christmas, but I still want to drop-kick Toad.

Back in the live-action verse, Mario and Luigi are having pizza with Brian. They tell him that running away isn't a good thing to do, and start a flashback to when Mario ran away as a kid.

Yes, the adult actors are playing child versions of their characters. It was cheaper than getting actual kids to do it. Mario was fighting with Luigi so their mom grounded him and he ran away. After running away with only a stuffed dog and baseball glove in tow, Kid Mario tells the audience that he's scared. He decides to do what he does whenever he's scared: watch scenes from the next Legend of Zelda. I guess that's one way to deal with it. Also, I swear they always show the same few scenes from it.

The story convinces Brian to go home so Mario and Luigi can enjoy their pizza with a phone stuck on top of it. And that's the episode. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!

Have some YouTube comments as an extra gift!

And stay tuned for what I'm going to write about next. . . .